Being a poser is one of life’s great temptations. I should know. I’m so well versed in its siren song that I deserve a Grammy.
We want other people to like us and spend a lot of time, money, and effort trying to be what we think others want. Others who don’t really think about us as much as we think they do. Others whose affection is conditional. Others whose true commitment comes with a price tag and expiration date, which is no commitment at all.
The best we can do, the best we should do, is be authentically us. I was reminded of this as I was looking through Brad Meltzer’s website this week. In the Q&A Section, there’s a photo of him sitting for a photo that ended up in Entertainment Weekly. Here’s the caption:
“Entertainment Weekly took one look at me and said, ‘Want to look like yourself, or you want us to make you look cool?’ I said, “Myself.” They gave me the trenchcoat and said to put it on even though it was 102 degrees in Washington.”
Ask yourself: What would my day look like if, for a full 24 hours, I was 100% me? A lesson (and a dare, really) from Brad Meltzer for all of us, folks.
In physics, objects in motion are said to have a momentum. This momentum is a vector. It has size and a direction. It has velocity.
This is significant for me because the single greatest thing lesson I’ve internalized this year is the all-importance of momentum. Whether you’re a writer or something else, the same is probably true of you, too.
We exert tremendous amounts of energy overcoming inertia, simply getting started and headed in the right direction. Then after we’ve picked up some speed we let up, ease off the gas, coast. It’s a fatal mistake where dreams are concerned because gravity is relentless and, unlike us, doesn’t need sleep.
The challenge isn’t beginning. That’s simple. The trick is continually and consistently adding “push” to your situation so you can keep momentum. Knowing how to do that is a thing that’s unique to each of us. I have a friend who keeps a list of his goals in front of him everyday and reads it in the morning and evening. I know someone else who wrote a future article about herself talking about what it took to become the success she is (will be). Me, I keep a piece of paper in my office. All it says is “New York Times Bestselling Author Kevin Kaiser.”It’s enough to remind me to shove the pedal back down to the floor when I want to give up (which is most days).
Bottom line…find whatever it is that encourages you and adds “push” to your day. Keep your momentum, especially when it’s hard (which is most days), because it’s easier to keep a moving object in motion than it is to start a dead one rolling.
How do you keep momentum?
Conflict. It’s part of life, that’s why we connect it so well in stories. But how do you give conflict meaning? The answer is pretty simple, actually.
Do not resist chances. Take them like vitamins.
Let go of the brakes. See what happens if you go five more miles.
Foot bridges be damned, find your own way across.
Don’t worry about the bumps and bruises. Your body can take them.
Don’t steer around the bits that scare you. Go over them. Go through them.
Do something the guys in the bowling league would be terrified of.
You will feel your chin rise up from your chest. And you’ll be able to see what’s around you. What’s ahead of you.
And there will be one less thing you cannot do.
-A Nike ad from the early nineties. It has inspired me ever since I saw it in an issue of Outside magazine.
One of my favorite online personalities is Gary Vaynerchuk, founder and host of Wine Library TV. Now, you have to understand, Gary is a hustling New Jersey businessman. But he knows how to get it done and he knows how to live fully. I’ve learned a lot about wine (and business, BTW) by watching him and I was happy to see him mentioned in Chris Brogan and Julien Smith’s new book, Trust Agents.
Now, Gary has three simple rules for “crushing it,” as he calls it. Three simple rules for living the life you want. I want to share those with you because I think they apply to us no matter if we’re trying to be an artist, a marketer, a hot dog vendor, whatever. Thanks Gary. Keep it coming.
