I’ve been thinking a lot about social media lately. I think about how it has set the barriers of entry effectively to zero (a good thing if you’re trying to break into the market), how we use it or don’t use it and why, how it impacts the business of publishing and is reshaping it in some drastic ways. We rely on it, use it to connect and build brands faster than ever before, and when the machine’s wheels grind slow, well, just look what happened with the recent Twitter outages.
Social network building has become a big part of what I do. And on a bigger scale it has become the primary medium through which business is evolving and through which we connect on a personal level. It’s all about friends, tweets, blogs, DM’s, unique visitors and whether or not you’re focused on SEO and you community influence. But for all the upside–and there is a lot, mind you–there is also downside. There always is. Single-sided coins are a myth.
As I have been going through my week I’ve found myself fixated on this corner of my life and wondered, “Why is having more Twitter followers or Facebook friends really important? Is it important at all? And why do I obsess (let’s call it what it is) about having other people like me and care about what I have to say?” These are tough questions because if I answer them honestly, which I’ve tried to do, the answers may uncover some pretty twisted priorities or worse…a crooked soul in need of straightening.
As I’ve thought about it, two things have become clear in my own experience:
Technology feeds my chronic appetite for independence.
You don’t die in America; you underachieve. It’s all about hyper-independence, self-help, self-fulfillment. Self, self, self. Technology enables that “selfness” by giving us a sort of omniscience unlike any other generation before us. That’s why we love it. It makes us more god-like (for good or ill). Think about that for a minute. Don’t have an answer to something? Google it. Go to Wikipedia. At my fingertips I have the collective intelligence of thousands of years of human history, millions of facts, and the answers to almost any question I could possibly ask. It is my private Tree of Knowledge, my penthouse suite in the Tower of Babel that kisses the clouds.
But the problem with knowledge is that you never quite have your fill. The same with independence. Like money, he who has it and worships it never has enough of it. If not properly managed, it will be the very thing that enslaves you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying technology is evil. It’s not; it’s amoral. It just has to be used wisely.
Technology gives me relationship without commitment.
.I love Facebook because I can be your friend without being your friend. If I want, I can hide my challenges, struggles, and secrets from you behind a veneer of pithy status updates and smiling vacation photos. And you can do the same with me. It’s like a first date–all you really see is the best version of me because I’m trying to impress you. And the more the merrier because I don’t really have to commit to anything.
Now I realize that some people have deep, meaningful relationships that were cultivated online. They are, I believe, the minority and have learned to be in authentic community with others. The rest are posturing for reasons of self-esteem and wanting to belong, not for actual community (which is a lot of work). It’s not the American way. It’s a sort of relational consumerism, like a trade or transaction. It’s friendship lite. One calorie. And after you’ve engaged in it for awhile, your heart begins re-conditioning itself, training itself for that kind of relationship.
So now the question is, “What do I do?” I’ve been thinking about his a lot as well, and I believe the answer is straightforward: redemption. I’m a participant in redeeming the creation. We all are. So, I think that means that figuring out how to replace independence with interdependence should be my concern. And maybe I should focus on quality of relationships and not quantity. It may mean that my total impression statistics or unique visitor stickiness aren’t all that important. And I’m pretty sure it means incorporating the idea (discipline?) of sabbath with these tools of which I’ve been made a steward. Learning to say “no” and “not yet” or even “that’s enough” is tough to do, but it’s necessary.
It’s a challenge, no doubt. But I believe it’s worth figuring out especially if you want to be in entertainment (which is what fiction is). Going forward, artists will be responsible for more and more of their own marketing and fanbase building. Knowing how to handle the process with a wise heart and skilled hand should be high on the priority list. It is on mine now.
I’m in full agreement with this post! I recently read an article in Writer’s Digest (Today as a matter of fact) that talked about not just networking, but connecting. Meeting real people at conferences and such. This same article mentioned serving to achieve. In other words, volunteer to help others who are growing in their craft or gifting. I am right beside you in redeeming electronic social media for a righteous purpose.
One thing that I’ve tried to implement in my social networking circles, especially in Facebook is not adding friends or following those with which I don’t already have contact (in real life) or those who I wish to glean from, which would include the author of this blog.
25.08.2009, 10:49 pmYou know, it’s interesting that you picked this topic for today, because something very similar has been going through my mind lately. I’ve been strugling with this challenge of being selfish vs. selfless – (me-focused or others-focused).
I am an aspiring writer, and so as I live my life each day, I am almost constantly thinking about my story, my plot, my characters, whether or not I am actually sitting down at the computer with the text before me.
In my free time, I’ve been finding tips from authors, agents & publishers about how to get noticed and the like. All seems to point in the same direction: self-marketing, reading blogs, getting involved online, getting connected with the right people (ie: SOCIAL NETWORKING). When I think of the hours one could invest online attempting to get published, I get overwhelmed.
But recently, I’ve really had something nagging at the back of my mind. In the end, what is all this for? Me. It’s all for me, me, me. Even if I believe that I am called to write and getting my book published is God’s will, that doesn’t mean it is alright for my life to revolve around my own interests.
What about the greater calling we all have? What about the needs of others? Sometimes getting sucked into this amazing world of living and breathing writing nonstop is not a good thing. I don’t just need balance in my life, I need to put others first. And not just in deed, but to really care about them more than I care about myself.
I want to be that person that always asks how someone else is doing before I begin talking about my own life. I need a daily jump start to set me in the right direction. I am a very passionate person by nature, but I want to have that passion about others as much as for myself. It seems to be much easier said than done.
25.08.2009, 11:19 pmKevin,
Great post. As you mention, publishers are now looking at how authors can engage a community. But the goal isn’t amassing a pool of nameless faces being asked to buy the next book. It’s about building a community of people who listen when that person has something to say– a tribe of followers who feel rewarded by the give-and-take of interacting with that person. And that requires active participation, authenticity, and consistency. As Seth Godin notes in his book “Tribes”, you strengthen the tribe when you tighten it…a “membership has it’s privileges” model whereby everyone gains from being part of the community.
Believing that all of these things are true, in my personal social media adventures, I want to connect with people I can learn from and those I can share with. Sure, I can follow 25,000 people and I’ll get more traffic on my blog. But the constant question is this: by adding more people, will I find a handful I really want to engage with? The logical answer seems to be “yes”, but it’s finding the hidden gems that makes the work all the more interesting.
25.08.2009, 11:50 pmGreat post, Kevin. Thanks for the food for thought. I was thinking this week that FB helps me with some relationships because it gives you the occasion to participate in the “real world” life of friends you see only occasionally. But it has to be followed up with deeper connections in person.
26.08.2009, 9:01 amYou bring up some really great things in this post– all of which I agree with. As a society we’ve become obsessed.
Really good stuff. The comparison of the internet and the Tower of Babel is a brilliant one.
26.08.2009, 8:30 pmYou have a good point. Facebook is both a blessing and a curse. This post made me think.
I’m lucky to have met my best best friends on an online forum (which just so happens to have been the Books of History search…sound familiar?
) but I also have a bunch of shallow relationships on Facebook…relationships without the relationship.
You made me think.
27.08.2009, 8:13 pm